MINA DIARIES: on patience

In my last entry I spoke a bit about patience, and ended up reflecting on the ways I can be a patient person. I have learned to be patient with myself in many ways, acknowledging that everything I want to come to me, be it the realization of goals or the learning of new material, will come to me in due time and not necessarily as I want or demand it. Though I am in a sense a hedonist, loving creature comforts such as spa days, saunas and hot tubs, cozy blankets and fluffy pillows and just sitting by the fire relaxing, I am not a seeker of instant gratification. I can work very hard and be very uncomfortable for long periods if I know patience will bring me relaxation in due time.

I spent some time down in Georgia living and working in a permaculture homestead — what some might call a hippie commune. We cooked our meals over a fire, did gardening and building projects, and cared for chickens and dogs in rain or shine. We were often either too hot or too cold, our feet and arms ached, we did laundry the old fashioned way, and being exposed to the elements as much as we were, being clean was a rare and celebratory occasion. But creating an outdoor heated shower using hoses, solar power and horse manure (yes, horse manure) was a labor in patience with a great reward. The manure generates a lot of heat, and a hose encased in horse manure shoots out water so hot it has to be cooled down, even on the coldest winter days in Georgia (about 30 degrees; 17 was the coldest day). Taking a hot shower in a garden and curling up in my little cob cabin by the wood stove was my creature comfort back in those days.

After living that life for almost a year, patience for regular living came easy. Laundry is washed by machines! Water pours ceaselessly out of faucets at any temperature you like! Stoves light up with the flick of a switch, and if you’re cold, turn up the thermostat. (Though I prefer my pellet stove.)

You would think that all these hardy outdoors skills and patience in dealing with the elements would translate well to putting together product shelves and storage cabinets in a comfortable, temperature-controlled room.

Luckily, I had help from my lovely boyfriend in putting these things together. He’s at least as impatient with these objects as I am, but thankfully much less inept. When I open a box with an assortment of pieces and an instruction manual, my instinct tells me to toss away the instructions and envision how the pieces are going to make a whole. And then just go at it from there! Start throwing things together. But this is the wrong approach, I’m not handy enough to get results with that method. I’ll end up with a dog house instead of a shelf. A ramshackle dog house.

So we followed the instructions, and everything started coming together. And in the times when things weren’t coming together, I’d let out some swears. I think that’s a good and cathartic thing to do sometimes. I remembered fondly helping a dear friend of mine put together her own spa, Mountain Time Spa in Lincoln. I swore many times putting things together, but not Sara. She moved with the grace and patience of a monk. Whenever I’d swear, she’d be nearby to say gently, “Oh dear, what’s the matter, can I help you with something?” And I’d assure her that everything was fine, I promise I’m all right, and I’d swear again.

It was a novelty, when I was alone, being in my own space and swearing to only a void. But it worked, I really think it helped me get everything together. And once things were finished and in their proper place, I shouted in happiness, though not so loudly as to disturb the neighbors. I finally had created a real massage and beauty studio. Now the real work of patience would begin — waiting for people to actually come in.

I worked hard at advertising online and getting the word out to the community, hoping that all this work wasn’t all for naught. At that time, just two or three clients a week was thrilling. Sometimes I wouldn’t see any clients for days and filling the books seemed daunting. I did everything I could — went to Chamber of Commerce meetings, got wise advice from seasoned business owners, became fluent in social media advertising.

And somewhere along the line, it started to work. Clients started filtering in. And those clients would tell other people who would then become clients. It quickly became apparent that word of mouth was now my best form of advertising (that, and my Google reviews for which I am eternally grateful). Finally, after about six months, it was time to celebrate! Things were really coming together.

And that was when I got to do some really special things — add to the creature comforts I had collected so that my little studio could become the cozy haven I’d envisioned. My patience had paid off, so it was time to do what Sara used to call putting the icing on the cake — adding your own special personal touch to your space to elevate its comfort and bliss factor.

The massage table/esthetician bed/nail recliner (all the same piece of furniture!) had a fluffy mattress topper, but what it really needed was memory foam, so that each client sinks luxuriously in, feeling the warmth of the electric table warmer. The soft lighting was nice, but a sky projector would really make the room pop. Wouldn’t people love to sit and relax after their service, enjoy a foot soak and a cup of tea? And there had to be small hot towels for the face and body post-service. In addition to the spa music, sound machines would block out the noise outside the room, playing songs of rain or ocean waves, transporting people to the beach or a calm forest or exotic jungle.

I watched my little studio transform into a haven of mind-body-spirit nirvana, or hopefully something close to it. Lacking a sauna or hot tub (how glorious that would be — maybe one day), I had to do everything I could to make this space sacred.

At most spas, massage studios, skin care clinics or nail salons, after your service you get up and go, but I wanted to make post-service time a time to unwind, too. On the table next to the armchair each client would enjoy a table full of goodies — cool water, hot herbal tea, hot towel, a bowl of candy. And have some time and space to sit and enjoy it all. Patience, like calmness and zen, is a theme at Bella Mina, so rather than packing my schedule back-to-back full, I spaced out my schedule so that nobody would be rushed.

At the end of each session, I want my clients to feel something like what I would feel down in the forest in Georgia, wrapped up in a blanket by the wood stove after a hot shower in the garden — my soul soothed and warmed after a hard day’s work.

I hope that is what I have created for you, dear reader, and that you’ll be blessed with patience for your own wellness journey. When you wake up early in the morning and have to do work and tasks and errands, some arduous, others tedious, I hope you’ll remember there are times you can stop and rest and indulge in the things that heal you, and that Bella Mina can be one of those things.